special dinner

So, I might have just had a really strong mojito at Rancho Alegre, a great Cuban restaurant in town (on MLK—they have snazzy live jazz music). And now I’m about to prepare a meal, but I figure I can’t be any worse now than I would have been sober. Maybe even better.


My girlfriend, Gillian, is about to be here for a weekend visit from Hendersonville, N.C. (aka the land where fun goes to die…or where old people go to get ready to die…she’s there because she works at a local outdoors school). I thought it would be charming to prepare a meal for her consisting of some of her favorite foods. Like ribs, even though we are both vegetarians (ironic? Maybe. Sometimes you just crave meat, though. After a few drinks, I always want a bacon cheeseburger from Five Guys. I know, I’m awful). And mashed potatoes, if the potatoes aren’t rotten yet. And biscuits with country gravy.

[As a completely irrelevant side note, my idiotic cat couldn’t cope with the fact that I accidentally placed the lid of the litter box on backwards, so he peed all over the kitchen rug. Is it socially acceptable/legal to euthanize him? Let me know in the comments section.]


The potatoes I had were a little soft and unnervingly sprouty, so I left them alone. The ribs were easy enough to make: pre-prepared hunks of frozen tofu with sauce. I don’t know if preheating the oven and sticking them in counts as cooking. For now, I think so (I’ll get more complex, gradually. Like, I’ll buy things that aren’t pre-made).


I did make homemade country gravy. This is super easy and super delicious. I think I could slather it on a tennis ball and eat it/choke/not care that I was choking because it would taste so heavenly.


Here’s how to make it:

• Heat up 1/2 c vegetable oil. (I only had olive oil, and that seemed to work just fine.)
• Whisk in 3/4 c all-purpose flour, half a handful of salt, and half a handful (I added more just because I like it) black pepper.
• Cook this for about ten minutes.
• Add 4 c milk, slowly, stirring until all (or most of) the lumps are gone and the gravy is nice and thick, like an angel’s loogie.

The biscuits were pre-made also, but so yummy. The next morning we had the leftovers with scrambled eggs.



(Gillian cookin’)

Until next time!

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