simple asparagus pasta


I came up with this simplistic recipe myself after realizing that I needed to cook the asparagus that had been sitting in my fridge for days (I always like to keep some on hand to add variety to the smell of my pee…my life is pretty uneventful). That’s right, folks, I came up with a recipe. Hence the fact that it is so easy, I think a blind paraplegic could do it.

Just kidding, they couldn’t.

All you need for this meal is some asparagus, some pasta, some herbs, maybe some salt and pepper, olive oil, and preferably a lemon.

Cook the pasta while you roast the asparagus in the oven. Spread the stalks out on a cookie sheet lined with foil, drizzle them in olive oil, lemon juice (I had no lemon and was sad about this fact), salt, and pepper. Preheat the oven to 425 degrees and cook them for 10-12 minutes.

Once the asparagus and pasta are both cooked through, cut the asparagus into bite-sized pieces. This was unexpectedly hard as fuck since the asparagus (asparagi?) were still not very tender, at all. Mix them in with the pasta and add a little extra olive oil, salt and pepper to taste. I’m growing some herbs on my balcony (not just aspirationally, but in real life!), so I tossed in some fresh sweet basil and Italian parsley, too.


This would be good served with some grated Parmesan, but, alas, I don’t have that, either.

Enjoy! And remember to cite me if you use this recipe, since no one has come up with anything similar, ever. 😉

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